Media Curmudgeon

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December 23, 2003

Sunday, December 21, 2003. CommercialsI

Sunday, December 21, 2003. Commercials
I don't watch much television--the major league baseball playoffs and World Series, a few regular season NFL football games, the NFL playoffs, the Super Bowl, some breaking news stories on CNN, an occasional Masterpiece Theater (with my wife), and a few HBO specials such as the magnificent "Angels in America." Therefore, I don't keep up to date on the latest commercials. But even with my limited viewing to broadcast television, I see a lot more commercials than I want to. But the commercials that I despise the most and that enrage me to the point of riot are the ones before movies.

Movies in New York are now $10 for adults and $6.50 for seniors (me) and kids (seven of my eight gradnchildren). Ticket prices are outrageous enough withot being subjected to a half-dozen full-screen commercials. These unwanted, unpaid-for intrusions are even more intrusive, obnoxious, and revolting on a big screen. The most obnoxious is one for Dodge Trucks that shows two men at urinals in a bathroom talking about "size." I have made a solem vow never to buy any product that subjects me to its commercial message in a movie theater where I have paid for a ticket. I have also vowed to spill popcorn and soda on the floor in protest. I'd throw chewing gum on the floor in subversive protest, too, if I could stand chewing gum. My goal is to make it more expensive to clean up than a theater makes on the hateful commercials.

In the few broadcast television commercials I have seen, I have noticed several trends: 1) technology exhibitionism, 2) creative narcissism, and 3) strategic stupidity.

About half the car and truck commercials fall into the first category and second categories. As far as technology exhibitionism goes, those commercials emphasize technological gimmicks and things instead of people, and they don't make much of an impact, except on an advertiser's pocketbook. The worst and most obnoxious of all the car and truck commercials this year were by Dodge Ram trucks. Never buy one; it would serve them right.

Commercials that communicate creative narssicism are those such as the Honda "Cog" commercial--brilliantly creative and fun to watch--but did it implant the brand name or any product benefits in the head of the audience? I don't think so. Another example of creative narssicism were the Chrysler Pacifica ads by the Arnell Group with Celine Dion. Did the spots sell any benefits or cars? I don't think so. The Germans bought Chrysler (which includes Dodge) and installed cost and production controls, but it looks like they forgot to control their ad agencies and while they weren't looking Toyota took over third place in car sales.

An example of all three trends was the AOL commerical that ran in the World Series--the one that looked like an action movie (it was directed by Ridley Scott's son, I think). It was technology exhibitionism, creative narcissistic, and strategicaly stupid--a tripe threat. It was outrageously expensive and tried to make the little, yellow, square-legged AOL runner into a brand incon. The message was that AOL's new 9.0 was fast. Really? You mean I should switch from paying $23.90 a month to $9.95 (or $14.95, whatever it is) for super fast broadband and, therefore, take away all of AOL's subscription-fee profit margin (now around $1.8 billion). That's really stupid.

I saw some other AOL spots with Jerry Stiller and Snop Dogg (the porn rapper) and can't think of two more irreleant people for an AOL commerical. I got a little tired of seeing the old AOL commercials that made the point the AOL was "so easy to use, no wonder we're number one," but it got the right message across (social proof) and positioned all other ISPs as hard to use; it also sold the wide variety of content, features, and benefits of AOL. Very smart.

If you're interested in the best and worst commercials of 2003, look at the current issue of Advertising Age, it's a great issue of the best and worst of 2003, including Bob Garfield's picks of ads he loved and ads he hated. I think Garfield is the best crictic of commericals in the business because he writes well, knows what he's talking about, and makes no bones about the fact that his opinions reflect his personal taste. I like that disclaimer, because I always know where he's coming from, and he's not purposely trying to diss people just to be mean or gain power, like media critic Michael Wolff often does.

Speaking of Wolff, it will be interesting to see if he keeps his job under the new owner of New York magazine. Wolff's maneuver of trying to put together a group to buy New York in order to save his job may well backfire on him.

Posted by Charles Warner at December 23, 2003 12:06 AM

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